We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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