Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
