i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
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Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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