and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
