I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i drank out of a bidet.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
