you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
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Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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