are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
