You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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