You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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