im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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