what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
