At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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