one two three fourrrrnication!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
