I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
