you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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