Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
