i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
