i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
