the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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