i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
