We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
