Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
