Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
