the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
