I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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