Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
