I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
barbara walters just said penis...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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