Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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