My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
