This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
