I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
