I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
