I puked a lego.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
