Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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