Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
