At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
