she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
