so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
no. you can't hotbox the world.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
