We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
