are you still at the devil's house?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
