For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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