btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.