I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
