I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
