i'm signing you up for texting rehab
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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