Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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