I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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