I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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