he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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