there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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