he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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