i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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