so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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