I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
