And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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